Thought for the Day - Learned Optimism

"Find a way to move from 'Learned Helplessness" to "Learned Optimism".

-- Martin Seligman

John Duffy's Personal Ramblings - Roots: It All Began Here - 400 E 141 St. The South Bronx

The first 18 years of my life were lived in this apartment building on 141st and Willis Ave in the South Bronx. My Irish immigrant parents lived here. I was brought home from the hospital to our third floor railroad flat apartment. My father was a butcher in a meat plant and my mother was a domestic and a factory worker. Both have them never finished grammar school. My father died in this apartment when I was four years old. My widowed mom raised my brother and me here on two checks. She received a Veteran's check for my father's service in WWII and a Social Security check.

I lived here when John F. Kennedy was assassinated in 1963. I lived here when Martin Luther King was assassinated in 1964. I lived here during the big blackout of 1965 and the race riots of 1964 and 1968. I lived here during the days of the Black Panthers and the Black Muslims. I lived here during the heroin epidemic that swept New York in the 60's. I lived here when they coined the term urban decay to describe my neighborhood in the South Bronx.I lived here during the beginning of "White Flight" and was one of the few remaining white families in the neighborhood. I lived here when the Bronx was burning during the arson epidemic. My neighborhood the Mott Haven section of the South Bronx was one of the poorest neighborhoods in the country at the time and still is today.

I lived here and dropped out of high school at the age of 15 years old. I survived a gun aimed at my head at age fifteen when I was working at a neighborhood grocery store. To the rest of the country and the world it was "Fort Apache - The Bronx" or a symbol of the worst of urban decay in America. Yet to me it was my neighborhood where I had lots of great friends and a fun childhood.

I moved out when I was eighteen to the Northwest Bronx. My mother remained in the same building for a few more years until 1976 when I was able to convince her to move to the North Bronx. The building was burned in an arson fire sometime after she moved out but before it was demolished I was lucky to have a friend take a picture of the building.

The picture above is on my wall as a reminder of where I came from. It's been a long and interesting journey from the South Bronx to today. I went from the Bronx to Hollywood and to Ireland. I walked through my parents childhood homes and my life has come full circle. I've often wondered how I got here from there and have begun to explore it in my blog but also in a memoir that I am writing entitled "Black Irish - Not Your Average White Boy".

I will continue to share moments from my journey in the future....

Thought for the Day - Writing the Story of Your Life

"The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another, and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it."

-- james M. Barrie

Thought for the Day - Stories Create Our Reality

"What we say to ourselves, creates our reality and guides our actions. Jim Loehr's "The Power of Story" teaches us that through the stories we tell ourselves and others about what is possible and impossible, we limit ourselves or unleash unimagined potential".

-- Susan J. Ashford

Thought for the Day - Build a New Model

"You never change things by fighting an existing model. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete."

--Buckminster Fuller

John Duffy's Personal Ramblings - Monologue - God's Ears

Sometimes you come across some great words of motivation or wisdom in a movie and as I listened to this monologue in a friends film I found these words inspiring and moving...

Actor/Boxing Coach John Saxton in movie "God's Ear"

"No matter how many great things you do in life. it's the one great thing in life you didn't do that wipes all the other off the board"

"I would take every punch to my face a thousand times over to have two seconds back for some blown chance.... two seconds just long enough to say , Yes I will when I wasn't able to...

But no matter what you do, take that wrong turn or step up to the plate. Hold her hand forever or breathe that lovers last breath. make sure yo do it with all your heart because at the end of the road that moment of truth is all we will ever own."

We all come from different worlds but in the end we manage to create our own..... That is life, that my friend is love."

Writer/Director Michael Worth

Check out the trailer:

Thought for the Day - Thorns Have Roses

"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses."

Thanks Robyn Lattaker-Johnson

Sunday's Eclectic Music Videos # 2 - Ring of Fire

Sunday's Eclectic Music Videos 2010 # 1 - I Only Have Eyes For You

Thanks Willie Everich for sharing on Facebook

Saturday's Motivational Video -And Your Excuse is What?

Thought for the Day - Test of Mission on Earth

“Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't.”

- Richard Bach

Thought for the Day - I Bought In

"I didn't sell out. I bought in."

- Masha

Thanks Aye Thinzar Aung

John Duffy's Personal Ramblings - Man Up

I just read a depressing story about how over 3/4 of children in parts of England will be born to unmarried mothers. No matter how you look at this it is not a good situation. Families with single mothers tend to be poorer and be condemned to poverty for generations. Kids without dads have a harder time in life and tend to have more problems adjusting. Now I know this is a very complicated problem with no easy solution and I don't plan on trying to address it here but there is one facet that I would like to touch on and that is the role of men.

I speak from experience having my father die when I was 4 years old and being raised in poverty by a widowed mom. Life is harder in a one parent family. The issue I want to address and is one factor in the situation is that men are not acting like real men and stepping up to their responsibility as a fathers. I think there is a need for society, peers, schools, churches and the culture to demand that men "Man Up".

What does it mean to be a man. It's not just a biological reality but it's about acting like a man should with courage,values, role modeling, and sacrifice. When a man becomes a father he needs to step up his game. It's no longer all about him, it's about the family and especially his responsibility to his kids. If he can't handle it or isn't ready then he shouldn't have kids cause he's not a man but just a big kid. Or as a friend of mine put it he just might be the king of the midgets but he's not a real man.

I know in my life after having a child I was called upon to step up and be a dad and a leader in my family. I had to let go of behaviors that got in my way of being a great father. Of all my accomplishments and successes in life I consider being a good parent my greatest accomplishment. To me being a man is to be a leader, to hold your self to higher standards, to have character, to take responsibility, to role model the best you can be so your children learn from your actions, to have courage, to sacrifice if necessary for your family and to protect them. That's a man.

A while back I came across this website that addresses the question "What Does it Really Mean To Be a Man". I recommend you check it out: http://www.abettermanbook.com/

I just heard a story about a man who's marriage broke up because of his cheating and he doesn't want to make child support payments even though he can afford it. What message does that give his kid. What kind of man is this? I think you know the answer.

I think it's time for many men, to put it in my old street vernacular "To Man the F' Up".

Thought for the Day - Who You Become

"What you get by reaching your destination is not nearly as important as what you became during the journey."

Thought for the Day - Successful People

"Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, What's in it for me?'."

Thanks Sharon Burton

Thought for the Day - Treat Life as a Game

"Treat life as a game where you are constantly being challenged. Then nothing fazes you"

-- Pauline Estrem

Sunday's Eclectic Music Videos 2010 # 2 - I Can Fly

Sunday's Eclectic Music Videos 2010 # 1 - Fly Like an Eagle

Saturday's Motivational Video - One Red Paper Clip

Thought for the Day - Winner Not Whiner

"Tough times separate winners and whiners."

-- John Maxwell