I just read a depressing story about how over 3/4 of children in parts of England will be born to unmarried mothers. No matter how you look at this it is not a good situation. Families with single mothers tend to be poorer and be condemned to poverty for generations. Kids without dads have a harder time in life and tend to have more problems adjusting. Now I know this is a very complicated problem with no easy solution and I don't plan on trying to address it here but there is one facet that I would like to touch on and that is the role of men.
I speak from experience having my father die when I was 4 years old and being raised in poverty by a widowed mom. Life is harder in a one parent family. The issue I want to address and is one factor in the situation is that men are not acting like real men and stepping up to their responsibility as a fathers. I think there is a need for society, peers, schools, churches and the culture to demand that men "Man Up".
What does it mean to be a man. It's not just a biological reality but it's about acting like a man should with courage,values, role modeling, and sacrifice. When a man becomes a father he needs to step up his game. It's no longer all about him, it's about the family and especially his responsibility to his kids. If he can't handle it or isn't ready then he shouldn't have kids cause he's not a man but just a big kid. Or as a friend of mine put it he just might be the king of the midgets but he's not a real man.
I know in my life after having a child I was called upon to step up and be a dad and a leader in my family. I had to let go of behaviors that got in my way of being a great father. Of all my accomplishments and successes in life I consider being a good parent my greatest accomplishment. To me being a man is to be a leader, to hold your self to higher standards, to have character, to take responsibility, to role model the best you can be so your children learn from your actions, to have courage, to sacrifice if necessary for your family and to protect them. That's a man.
A while back I came across this website that addresses the question "What Does it Really Mean To Be a Man". I recommend you check it out: http://www.abettermanbook.com/
I just heard a story about a man who's marriage broke up because of his cheating and he doesn't want to make child support payments even though he can afford it. What message does that give his kid. What kind of man is this? I think you know the answer.
I think it's time for many men, to put it in my old street vernacular "To Man the F' Up".
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